Stuck in the 80's

Why is it that it is now 2012 and I'm still seeing the infamous 80's hair poof?! We saw it in the 90s and it was almost ok because it was still slowly phasing out. Then we saw it in the 2000s and that was really over doing it. and now here we are 2012 and its simply unacceptable! As humans we are supposed to adapt to our surroundings. Im pretty sure the pleated denim and hair poof has been uncool for going on 25 years and yet still some woman are still rockin it like its the coolest thing since sliced bread! And out of all the trends to drag on...why this one?! I mean thats as bad as a man still rockin a "rat tail". What the fuck is wrong with people?! Do they see people around them and think we are all uncool because we have adapted and changed for the better with new trends. and I wonder what the hairstylist thinks of their clients getting the same style cut for almost 30 years LOL. Any hairstylist that allowes this shit to be still going on need to be shot in the face and then put on display to make an example out of them.

      You dont see many professional women rockin the whitesnake 80s hair poof anymore...whats that tell ya?! Being stuck in a certain era while everyone else moves on holds you back prefessionally. I mean really...what prefessional office is going to take u seriously when your now in your 40s and ur doing your hair the same way u did in your highschool yearbook!?

The Hairstyle of success...you will see no 80s poof here

I wonder how many graduates from the 80s go back to highschool reunions and still look the same...well besides aging like an old hag, but HEY! atleast u can still make your hair POOF, but in reality u dont look young u just look like an idiot who cant move on. it takes the saying "u havent changed since highschool!" to a whole new level HAHAHA
       The 80s was the only decade that males and females had the same hairstyle:

Thank God men had the common sense to ditch this do! I would have felt like a raging lesbian if I had fucked a man that looked like this. Are you sure these men dont have a vagina?!

Ok So your yearbook hair has changed a little:





used up much!?





Ok lady so im not sure as to whether that fro/ 80s thing u got going on was ever cool but lets pretend it was....and now we move on to the 2012s and congrats to you for slightly changing it up, but lets face it YOUR STILL LIVING IN THE 80s. You have to poof going, and the feathering along the sides, and not to mention YOUR OLD NOW, this isnt doing it for ya anymore. You look like a old worn out christmas sweater from the 80s thats collecting dust (and wrinkles) in someones attic

Next time you see this shit feel free to speak up! They will thank u in the long run when they look at decades of pics and realise somethings not quite right hahaha do someone a favor today and tell them they look like a fuckin tard and buy them a gift certificate to a trendy fun hairstylist that simply wont allow this!

Your #

No one will admit it, but everyone keeps their "number" buried deep inside a lil or rather big memory file inside our heads. Some of us are proud of our number. Most of us are not. Yes Folks im talkin about the number of sexual partners you have had. The number of Penis' that have been all up in your twat, or the number of snatch's that ur dicks been inside lol so vulgar I know LOL

Yeah we know you get more ass
than a toilet seat

       For some reason its pretty much accepted for a man to be a whore. He can openly brag about having hundreds of sexual partners and even tho he is probably disease infested it seems to be ok. Now if a woman has several sexual parnters or just more than a few she is a WHORE,SKANK,SLUT etc...Really not fair.

 Thats why Woman, you need to listen to me. If you wanna get it in a lot you need Hoe's in different area codes. The idea is to bang men who will never know eachother. Fuckin guys in the same town is just askin to start being called a Hoe. Its only a matter of time before your found out. If you can successfully follow this advice you will keep the good reputation you fucked worked hard for, and no matter what your # is, you keep that shit to yourself. NEVER admit it. You will get your guys wanting to know your past...NOPE dont go there. They will forever use it against you and throw it in your face and also be jealous everywhere you go wondering if anyone in the room has had the pleasure of well....you know.

      We have all heard there is a formula to #'s we have. Women can get ass anytime anywhere because well, lets face it....guys will bang anything.  For Guys its not always so easy. Some guys get tons of ass, and some do not. And the ones that dont usually lie about it and say they get more than they do. They think it makes them look more pimpin or somethin. Maybe to their guy friends it does. However to women it doesnt. If we hear your fuckin lots of broads we are immediately turned off. I mean cmon, we dont wanna get crotch rot from STDs cuz ur dippin ur chip everywhere. Gross! So the formula goes as follows. Lets say a man says he has been intimate with 35 women. Ya right buddy, u wish haha you divide that # by about 4 which equals 8.75...the .75 stands for a quick BJ nothing more.

    Now women try to downplay there #s cuz they dont wanna get a whorish reputation. So lets say a woman says her # is 5 (haha yeah when you were 16!) you take that # and multiply by 5  (5 partners x5 = 25 partners) that number is about right. Its ok tho ladies. Most of us lose our virginity around 16 and by the time we are mid twenties we pretty much have lost track of our # . You only have to sleep with 3 or 4 men a year from the age of 16, and by the time your in your mid twenties you will have banged 30 something men. Which means if you stay single, by the time your old you will have banged the equivilant to how many a freakin rock star banged before their career took a nose dive!  I really hope that by a certain age people quit with the wanting to know your #s. It just doesnt matter. Half of em ya cant remember anyway. Have u ever tried to sit down and right out your list and you find yourself sayin "oohhh yeah i forgot about that one! Ha!" well there is a reason you forget, 1 because you had so many its hard to keep em straight, and 2 they sucked. Sorry but its true, if you did nothing out of the ordinary to make it amazing then you will be forgotten. Give us something to remember you by other than the stupid noises and faces you make when your blowing your load.

Look so dumb when
your cummin, the only thing
we will remember wont be the
 "terrible great sex"
it will be ur dumb face as we are laughin
telling all our friends about it!

I also need to touch on another similar subject. If the guy you slept with on the one night stand last 2 pumps and hes done, you dont have to technically count him. You only had a penis in you for less than 30 seconds. What a waste, there is no reason to have to add another knotch to the belt for such a worthless piece of ass. We have all been there am I right? You look over at the guy in disbelief and think in your head "are u fuckin kiddin me?" and then he has the nerve to say "was it good for you?" hahahaha Was WHAT good for me?!! i get more action at the gyno!!

"This Dude is a joke!"

 



a little to the left, yeah right there...aahhhhhh (LOL)

http://youtu.be/lQlIhraqL7o- a must see

So do yourself a favor, never ever try to remember the entire list. Some things are meant to be forgotten and are in the past for a reason!!



Your NOT Bi-Polar!!!! Your just an IDIOT

The world is full of idiots, and idiots never ever take responsibility for their actions. They always gotta blame someone or something. You will never hear a dumb fuck admit "yes i was wrong i fucked up" nope instead you will here excuses like "I blacked out" "I was drunk" or "Im Bi-Polar" (thats my fav one) Anyone who is not doing what they should be doing is quick to pull the "im bi polar" shit. Apparently being bi-polar makes u a complete fuckin idiot and its accepted as long as your bi polar. Truth is your acting out because your an immature child who is old enough to use swear words like "FUCK" and sound big n tough. Or maybe we can blame something or someone for the way you are. Or maybe we could just make up something to blame...We could accuse Uncle Jerry of making you touch his pee pee, thats why your a fuck up YES!!

Uncle Jerry why are u wearing Lingerie?! its not even Halloween yet!
 and P.S you forgot your ears

 Or no lets not make u look bad mentioning your immoral sex acts with family...lets just tell everyone your bi polar... You cant help it, its a chemical imbalance in your brain...PPPUUUHHHLLLLEASEEEE. You know full well what your doing, just admit that your a whore and terrible person and then maybe we can work on some changes.

     Recently I met a guy who was injected himself with steroids in hopes that he would go from a fat fuck to a muscly hot man...buddy its gonna take more work than an occasional injection of roids. Soon after he started having "Roid RAGE" and blamed it on being bi polar....ummm no ur just pissed because those needles you've been stickin in your ass have started to make your man junk shrink, and you didnt have much to work with in the beginning. Your not bipolar buddy, you just willingly shrunk your PACO and are pissed at urself... I would be too. Not to mention the MOOBS you have sprouted. GROSS



All because you wanted some muscles, and were too lazy to work out.
"Hey heres an idea lets shoot myself in the ass with Steroids and develope MOOBS"
Hahaaa if it sounds too good to be true then it is!






















 Then not to mention the wrinkles and aging that the Steroids did to you. You cant blame Bi Polar for that shit. Between the Steroids, and crack u have really take a beating. Im sure the stress of ur shrinking manhood added some wrinkles to your face and penis. Its ok Your balls would have hung that low eventually...just not for 50 more years.




 



You look OLD! I thought Puerto Ricans are Gansta mother fuckers...
but your wearing redneck white people clothes
A checkered shirt and whats that animal on your head?---o wait
maybe your bi polar is making you act crazy n dress crazy. DUMB FUCK
Meanwhile u still flashin ur fake ass gold chains hahaha!


Ive come to the conclusion that people who blame alcohol on their stupidity are just horny desperate fucks that use beer goggles as an excuse to screw ugly people. It use to be that if u banged someone nasty you had to take shit for it by all your friends. Nope not anymore! "i was drunk dude" will cut it!

Beer goggles are a cop out
Never have I ever drank enough for this to happen LOL
When someone is fat and or ugly, they stay fat n ugly
Beer doesnt possess enough magical powers to do
such a transformation

So tonight Im gonna go out and make all the wrong decisions and nobody can say anything because Im Bi Polar BETCHES!!!

Craigslist- a place for closet homos

     Ok so a friend of mine brought Craigslist to my attention. I never really have been on Craigslist before this week. I thought it was a place to buy and sell things, turns out its much much more. When my friend is feeling down she visits craigslist to get some laughs, so I decided to take a look and see what she was talking about. HOLY FUCKIN WOW!!!

       So first there is a section called rants n raves- basically a place people go to talk about things that really piss them off. If u wanna read a bunch of bitchin thats the place to go. I dunno about you but I hear enough bitchin in real life I dont wanna go read it but whatevs

     There are also discussion forums. Basically just somewhere to argue with people who dont agree with your ideas... once again we all have enough drama but i guess if thats your thing go for it!

      Then yes there are sections to buy and sell things, and also rent appts and such...the typical

     But the best part is the Personals. Craigslist is like the WALMART of online shit. u can get everything from housing, buyin and sellin, and u can also get a piece of ass while your at it. You dont realise how fucked up the people are in your town until you have read the personals on Craigslist. I got nothing against homosexuals whatsoever. In fact I think most of them are the kindest most fun-loving people you will ever meet. I mean really, who wouldnt be happy when ur getting your cock sucked and pussy licked all day everyday by anyone who will have it?? I knew we had plenty of gays in our area but im finding out we have way more than we ever knew!!! Im wondering how many of them are closet gays and posing to be straight. If you go to Craigslist personals there is a section called Men searching Men. Its got 1,000s of postings from men wanting to get man ass and BJs.I dont think any of the gay men were looking for any sort of relationship...just sex. Horny cum guzzlin assfuckers!!  There is also a section for Women searching Women, the funny thing is there is only like 8 postings there. So here is my question...Why are so many men gay and or bi, and barely any women are?!?! You would think there would be far more lesbians cuz i mean cmon people women are way hotter then hairy smelly men, and women look better naked too LOL. I almost feel bad for lesbians in this town cuz its slim pickins my friends. Out of the 8 adds for women, 2 were looking for  long time relationships. and the rest just wanna get banged.

    Then to get to the freaky shit,there is a section called Casual Encounters there are couples searching for women for 3some action, and couples searching for men to get some double penetration action for their girlfriends/wives. Why a Craigslist add?! Well I guess its easier than going to bars and asking random people if they wanna have freaky group sex,gay sex, or whatevs. That might be asking to get knocked the fuck out, so maybe the internet is the way to go if you have crazy fantasies you want to live out. The funny thing is some of these people actually post naked pictures of themselves. Usually men takin pics of just their cocks. So not appealing. You seen one, you've seen em all...well kinda lol. Most of the women searching pussy lickin lesbians are scary bitches. Some are butchy, some are feminine but in a very scary white trash possible druggy kinda way. Where are all the "lipstick lesbians" that we all see on TV lookin all hot??  Do pretty bi girls or lesbians exist? Its not fair that most gay men are hot mother fuckers and the lesbians are scary n butchy. Who wants a woman that looks like a dude? Most people picture lesbians to look like this:

This is what we all want to picture lesbians looking like

But truth be told most Cunt lovin bitches look like this:

umm no thanks

Meanwhile lots of Gay men are lookin like this:

Who wouldnt want a taste of this? lol

From time to time u will see a disturbing gay man looking like this( but its pretty rare):

"Do you like my booty shorts baby?"

When did people get bored with straight normal people dick in vagina sex?

Probably when this video came out of gay men prancing around an icecream truck...its kinda hot LOL  I highly suggest u watch it. If your not already a gay man like 50% of this town you will be after watching this http://youtu.be/tXXZpr8YlSI

So just sayin if u wanna laugh your ass off go to Craigslist personals adds, or if ya wanna get ur freak on. whatever lol

Whats Sexy? Trashy? and just plain Scary!?

There really is no grey area so to speak when it comes to being sexy, or trashy. Your either one or the other. The more I look on Facebook the more i realise parents arent teaching their daughters the difference! First lets go over the actual meaning of SEXY: excitingly appealing; glamorous. and the meaning of TRASHY: of the nature of trash; inferior in quality; rubbishy; useless or worthless. See the two just dont go together. Your one or the other Bitches so make up your mind.
      Sexy girls are classy, and somewhat modest. Not modest like an Amish girl covering all and wearing a bonnet, but knows how to show just enough without being a slutty whore trashbag. Sometimes sexy is simple, meaning not having to overdo everything about yourself. Too much make up screams WHORE, too much jewelery =WHORE, Nails too long =WHORE. These things just prove your crying for attention and will do anything or anyone to get it.

Why so much make up? u cant cover TRASH.
Your eyelashes look like they might crawl away

Who ever told girls that chuckin the deuces and puckering their lips like a duckbill platypus needs to be shot. This is NOT sexy. it has TRASH written all over it. look in a mirror bitch...o wait u are lookin in the mirror  cuz u had to take ur own picture, cuz all ur other friends are whores and are to busy taking their own pics in the mirror too LMAO

Omg, I didnt know u were a plumber and a whore...why not tho? You are always getting ur pipes checked



Eyeliner is over the top, and holy fuckin bleach blonde hair...Your Ugly/SCARY




oh ur a bad betch now cuz u got tats n piercings all over ya body. You love getting poked in more ways than one lmfao

One thing that always cracks me up is when you, along with everyone else notices something so out there, you wonder how the person doesnt realise how redicules they look. Having a healthy glow and nice tan is attractive, but once again there is a fine line. You dont wana look like leather. YUCK! and then u have these broads that wanna be Snooki and spray tan themselves into oblivion

How the Fuck do you not see that your ORANGE??? Actually this is a color I like to call Horange (Hoe + Orange = Horange) Was your goal in life to become an OOMPA LOOMPA???

Why are bitch's crying out for attention so bad? Is it insecurity? These broads just love it. Especially on FB. I cannot stand girls who put all their shit on blast for the world to read and then get pissed when everyone is all up in their business.... DUH!!!!

I am absolutely joining the Slap-a-hoe tribe lol Maybe they are just too fuckin stupid to know any better. This town really is full of stupid,scary, trashy people. Im pretty sure thats why they turn to stripping, the only thing they know how to do is take their clothes off for $$.

Cmon ladies have some dignity, Act like a hoe get treated like a hoe! Dress like a hoe get treated like a hoe! Gotta have some class like half days LMFAO

Skeezy People

We all know some skeezy people am I right?! Is there anyone REAL out there anymore? TRUST is almost a thing of the past. Even the ones you think are your closest and most trustworthy are the ones with all the dirt and are gonna use it against ya. Doesnt matter who they are either, family or friend they just might shit on you eventually.  What makes someone a skeeze? Well lets see.....
      So ok you have a "friend" who calls ya to cry about her stresses in her life that she brought on herself by being a tramp and doesnt give two shits to ask how your doing? Yup u got it shes what i call a selfish Skeeze lmao time to toss her to the curb where she belongs.
      There are skeezers in both sexes for sure. I find that being the cute bitch that I am, i am in the crosshairs of many man skeezers. These are the guys that hit on you, whether ur married, single, or what. it doesnt matter! truth is your not special like they make you  believe. They just wanna get in your pants and will say and or do anything it takes to get it. I am so glad I've learned cuz there are so many girls that just have no idea. I use to CRAVE male attention. it made me feel good and "pretty". And when i got it i thought like most other stupid females "oohhh they think im pretty and im special" YAAAA RIGGHHTTT!!! Fact is I have a VAGINA and they wanna get their dick wet. They dont give two fucks about anything else. You could look like Rosy O'Donnell and they still gonna be down to fuck.

yes there are people who would bang this

And you would think the guys takin chicks like this home are desperate and FUGLY right?! well desperate maybe but FUGLY? WRONG!!! its usually hot mother fuckers and ugly mother fuckers. thats because they just dont care...only thing on their mind "VAGINA" this is why trannys get love. they may be a man and have an adams apple but if they had surgery and they have vagina they are straight legit to most men. LMFAO

Ive heard every line in the book. Ive had men try to buy their way into my pants with expensive gifts. $600 cell phones, expensive perfumes, ghetto ass gold jewelery, offers to take me on vacations free of charge. They wont stop at anything to get summa dat PUSSAYYYY. However I am not a fuckin prostitute and as much as all that stuff sounds lovely i can do without thank u very much. Go find some other HUSSY who is lookin to gold dig and maybe u can get some on the side too and who knows maybe u can pick up some more STDS while ur at it!
   
       Dont get me wrong tho people. Its not just men, I know women doing this same shit. Some girls I wouldnt trust with my boyfriend, husband or even dad for that matter. Some girls are just gold diggers and fuck to get things. Other girls just fuck anyone for nothing, and they dont discriminate either. Black, white, puerto rican, Mexican, they will take it all and it doesnt matter who they are or where they have been. Doesnt matter if they have a job and are worth a damn, or a drug dealer or living in their parents basement as long as they have something to ride. Why not get a sexy toy ladies? much less disease and drama, and usually feel better and last longer too lmao

this is the way to go ladies LOL

    Then lets talk about Broken Rules. There is supposed to be a rule between friends. The rule is you dont bang your friends man ever! and u cant bang their X's either. Its a no no. they are off limits. there are so many penises out there u dont need to be riding the same ones. EWW i think men have a similar rule but who knows, i dont think they really give a damn LOL. Not all girls follow this rule. In fact most dont and that why we have shows on TV like Springer and Maury. everyones bangin everyone and therefore we all hate eachother. This shit makes u the skeeziest of the skeezers!!!!

1.     You are a skeezer if you bang someone and have to double bag em
2.     You are a skeezer if you knowingly bang someone with an STD and think "ooo well the dr will gimme a pill for that, gimme summa daaat"
3.      You are a skeezer when ur gyno knows u by recognising ur beat up twat and or penis with weird growths on it
4.     You are a skeezer if you have to offer to take women on trips to get laid
5.     You are a skeezer if u get rejected even with those trips so instead u have to pay to get laid while ur in a foreign country.

hahahahahhaahaa so do urselves a favor. DONT BANG under the influence its highly dangerous and guaranteed anyone u meet in a bar is gonna be a Skeeze.


 

A guide to finding the perfect hairdresser

Though not all of us use em, we all need em. Im talkin about hairdressers folks. "high end" salons are popping up everywhere nowadays it seems. Its amazing how even in times of economic hardship people will spend an arm and a leg on beautifying themselves. Finding a good hairdresser is NOT always easy. Usually have to go through one or more hair-tastrifies before getting a good one. As you read on I will go over some redflags of things to look for and possibly run away from when searching for a good hairdresser.

      Ever walk into a salon and its mostly old women getting their tight curly perms and the pictures on the walls of hairstyles are from the 60's? Yeah thats a sure as shit sign u need to just turn around and leave immediately unless u like getting the 1920 Fingerwave.

Famous 1920s Fingerwave

       I for one truly despise going into "fancy" expensive hair salons full of women that hate eachother. When ya walk in you can feel the tension and feel the "i hate my life" attitude in there. Although i have to admit, if I had to work in an atmosphere full of snotty bitches I would be slitting my wrists too. Have you ever just looked at a women and you could tell she is a bitch right on the spot by her face and body language? Its like she has "Bitch" written across her forehead. They think they SEXY cause they are all decked out with their hair done did and make up caked on their faces lookin like a human version of "brats" dolls.





Brats doll make up job. You dont want this bitch doing your hair either. She cant see beyond her fake thick eyelashes and injected lips to even know what the fuck she is doing to your hair. She is too busy thinking about what other procedure she can get to look more FAKE than to give a damn about what your hair is gonna look like. RUN AWAY from this porn star hair dresser!!!

Then we have the Punk Rocker Style hairdresser, This girl usually is covered in tats and has crazy short spiked hair. This is the hairdresser your kinda nervous to let touch your hair but most likely she will do an awesome job. Just cuz her hair is crazy, purple and hot pink doesnt mean your will be this way unless you ask for it. Its usually just a reflection of her personality and dont worry you wont leave their looking like u work at "Hot Topic"

Punkish hairdresser- scary at 1st but usually a safe alternative. They arent like the petty bitches talking shit and gossiping. They are usually more "hippied out" and love all humanity type of people. Effin tree huggers

I personally have not been to my last two picks for hairdressers but I hear wonderful things about them and they may be the absolute best choices. Black Ghetto Ass girls can do hair! They have worked for centuries trying to get that nappy ass hair straight and have mastered a lot of amazing techniques that yes, even white girls can take advantage of their knowledge and get some good ass hair done with them. Especially if you want some good hair salon gossip like "Ooohhhh Girl! Did u hear about Shaniqua and Tyrone!?! ooohh yesss girl he was caught red handed knockin boots wit her cousanttttt(cousin in white people talk), you can even axe (ask) Shaniqua! she walked in and caught that HOE!" haha truly some real entertainment in these places.



And last we have possibly my favorite: The Gay Hairstylist! Now i know just cause he is gay doesnt make him better at doing hair. But there is just something about a man who has man qualities but can talk girl talk with you while rockin out your hair. And most people say they are in fact the best at doing hair than any woman. Perhaps because they are so into beauty more than even most women. Most gay men worship women. Even tho they dont wanna bend u over and bang u, they still wanna in a sense be you and admire real women. Just be prepared for some "man hate" talks cuz they have more relationship drama than any of us. Possibly cuz most (not all) gay men are whores.

So whichever you may choose, choose wisely based on your own personality and if the bitch fucks your hair up just slap the hoe and move on to the next til u find your perfect fit.